2 Broke TVs Thanks to 2 Broke Girls

21 04 2013

cbs-2011-2-broke-girls

Not sure if any mime compadres have been watching CBS’ fine primetime programming lately, but if you have and it happened to be a Monday, you probably stumbled upon a few seconds of the second season of their “hit” show, 2 Broke Girls. Then you probably cancelled your cable plan and spot welded your eyes shut. Sweet baby rays BBQ sauce that show is awful. As much as I hate to admit it, I watched about seven minutes of it a few weeks back and as far as I can tell, it’s hands down the worst show ever made.

Don’t get me wrong, there’ve been A LOT of awful sitcoms in American history. I could write a freaking dead sea scroll listing all the shows I’ve turned on and then immediately turned off, and I’m sure you can too. For every one good show, there’s like 76 others that were immediately cancelled. So I won’t bore you with mini-rants on garbage programming like Blind Justice. I’ll just cut to the chase and go off on our lousy show of the hour, 2 Broke Girls.

For those not familiar, I’ll provide a sample clip. Feel free to watch, but just know that you’ll probably light your computer on fire ten seconds in.

UHH. Shut it off for the LOVE OF GOD!

And listen, I get it…. hey JD if you hate it so much then just don’t watch it! Valid point captain Mcannoyingface, but here’s the thing you’re forgetting. I live at home with my folks. Ya boy doesn’t necessarily have control of the tube on a nightly basis. For example, just last week I was in the kitchen heating up a two slices of leftover meatloaf and overheard 2 Broke Girls on TV. Enough to make even the most mentally tough men fly off the handle.

Here’s the 411 on the show. It’s a sitcom that debuted in 2011 to the dismay of, I can assume, every person on planet earth. It’s about two chicks in their twenties who are waitresses and, wait for it, happen to be down on their luck and BROKE. One has always been poor and the other used to be rich but now she’s poor, or something like that. Apparently the show was created by Whitney Cummings. A chick who is usually moderately hilarious in Comedy Central roasts, so that was a surprise to me. It stars some relatively hot blonde chick and the kinda goth, ugly daughter from 40 Year Old Virgin. How she got a primetime show is beyond me. And what bugs me the most about her is she’s constantly guilty of the excessive lipstick use. Worst look out there. Gaudy burgundy lipstick. Woof. Not much else to say regarding the plot of the show, lot of obnoxious one liners and a bunch of craptastic acting.

Plus, to make matters worse, they just signed on for a third season! Thank the lord! Was worried I wouldn’t have a couple of incredibly annoying wise-cracking broads to brighten up my Monday nights any more. Wheew.

I really want to know who the hell watches this show? Like seriously, if you’re reading this and you also happen to watch 2 Broke Girls on a regular basis, let me know. Send us an email. Maybe a quick one or two paragraph rundown on why. I honestly want to meet you, maybe pick your brain for a bit, find out just how horrible your sense of humor could possibly be. Because I sit here and I can’t seem to think of one person on planet earth that would enjoy the program, yet it continues to get decent ratings. It won a friggin Emmy for christsake!

Just mind blowing stuff, folks. You know what, I’m going to completely switch up the tone of this post and go a head and give a big ol’ congrats to 2 Broke Girls. You’re somehow kicking TV ass. You suck so so much, but yet you don’t at the same time. And at the end of the day, I kind of have to respect that. It’s like I want to drive to CBS Studios in Cali and release a pack of moose on their set in the hopes they’ll never film another second of the show again, but at the same time I kinda want to find out their secret and get in on the scam too.

Way to go 2 Broke Girls, you have everyone here at the mime totally perplexed.

– JD

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