The Mime Year in Review

27 12 2012

2012YIR

The new year is almost upon us. 2013 is right around the corner. New years eve is a mere few days away. It’s also the Thursday after Christmas. If you’re like me, you have to work today and your office is a ghost town. Pretty sure a tumbleweed just rolled by my desk. But I’ll spare you the pain of listening to me bitch about how pointless it is to work today and instead, let’s dive into this post.

With 2013 a couple days away, we’ve got some time to reflect on the great year that was 2012. Some great things happened in 2012. New people emerged, new trends were born, new products were introduced. But what was the greatest thing to come out of 20 aught 12? Was it the iPhone 5? Gagnam Style? One Direction? No, idiots. You’re looking right at it. Because on January 9, 2012 the Mime was born, and on that day, I submit, the internet changed forever. Duh you submit that shit, JD, you created the Mime. I sure as hell did, champ, now shut the hell up and let me talk for a minute.

It’s hard to believe that it’s nearly been a year since the Mime breathed its first internet-breath. It seems like just yesterday we were a tiny, virtually unknown and unvisited wanna-be comedy blog on wordpress. Man, how times have changed. Since then, we’ve added a few writers, and had quite a few laughs. If you’ve been with us since the start, we appreciate the support. If you accidentally landed on us looking up Saving Silverman quotes on tumblr, thanks for stopping by and we’re sorry for the disappointment. And if this is somehow your first visit, get with the fucking times, bro! TODM is making waves, and if you’re not on board, you’re either gay or in jail. Or both. You’re a gay jailbird.

In honor of the great year that was, let’s look back at the top fifteen mime posts of the year. Now, bear with me as I sift through all the classic journalistic masterpieces we’ve featured and if you disagree, feel free to tell us about your favorite post in comment section below! Or go never come back and request the Mime be blocked by your employer, whatever works.

15. Baby Makin’ Music

Basically the post that started it all. Think of it as the first of the Mohicans, if there was such a man. If there was he was probably was pretty bored, now that I think about it. All Mohican and hanging by himself in the woods. Damn, how do I spread my Mohican seed? Oh hey pretty Mohican lady, let’s start a tribe. Boom history. Anyways, this post is good for spreading seed. And not bird seed at the arboretum, if you catch my drift.

14. Corporate Jargon That Makes Me Want to Swan Dive Off The Roof Of My Office Building

Sonion Rings much anticipated Mime debut. Amidst a shitastic job an employer that will be left unnamed, Sonny let his anger spew on the pages of the Mime like Dan Brown writing the Da Vinci Code II: The Da Vinci Rubiks Cube. Definitely a great post to come back to after Carol in HR tells you to “blast one out your ass and sign the damn 401K paperwork already, I needed it last Tuesday for christsake”, whatever that means.

13. Best Beards In The Biz: Part II

Best Beards Part I was pretty legit, but it felt unfinished. Like shaving only one ball. Felt incomplete. Then part two came along and made things right. Paid homage to soul patches and mutton chops and 5 o’clock shadows.

12. Let’s Talk About ‘Flight’ 

A month ago TODM’s resident movie buff, Kleinz 57 took his movie reviewing to a whole new level when he dropped his exclusive interview with the one and only Denzel Washington. D-zel was a bit preoccupied, I can assume the interview took place on some sort of yacht or maybe at Ruby Tuesdays, but the scoop the chup man dug up was priceless.

11. Feel Good Story of the Day: T.I. Saves Scott Stapp

Here at the Mime we do a lot of bitching. OW’s, this week in America’s worst jobs, critical movie breakdowns, a lot of negative shit. Well in early October, a feel good story came out that nearly blew the pubes right off my sac. A rapper and a hard rocker, coming together in the weirdest of situations. It was magic.

10. The Pekcorcism of Jeremy Lin

While the entire world was collectively creaming themselves for a month and a half straight over Linsanity last winter, Minnesota Timberwolves fans were getting a taste of their own minority sensation (if being Montenegrin is a minority). It seemed Jeremy Lin’s NBA takeover overshadowed even the largest of European giants pummeling bitches in snowy Minnesota. Luckily, 5 Piece Thuggets, TODM’s resident super-slacker, was there to drop some knowledge.

9. G.O.O.D. Music = Miami Heat

In mid September Green Eggz N Pink Ham returned from his summer-long sabbatical of teaching Nepalese children how to pop lock it drop it in the Mountains. He proceeded to drop a spot on comparison of Kanye West’s uber douche music crew aka G.O.O.D. Music with the Miami Heat. The rest was comedy gold.

8. Rap-letes: The Greatest Hits

Originally intended to be released as a limited edition compilation album, this super-list of the best athlete-turned-rapper songs was an instant classic. Rap-letes are consistently under appreciated in the American music industry and it only seemed right to drop something that aimed to change that trend. Well it didn’t at all, but don’t tell me there weren’t some classics in there.

7. OW: Are You F-king Kidding Me?

Among the many segments I’ve tried to implement here on the mime, Overreaction Wednesdays is the only one that seemed to really click, and by click I mean is actually enjoyed by our readers. Well in mid April, HuffPo dropped a story literally about a town called Fucking. Hilarious right? We thought so too.

6. Overreaction Wednesday: Graduation

One thing we like to do on the mime is spread knowledge, especially to our younger readers. In this OW, 5 Piece throws down a sort of warning to the hell that is the day you finally graduate from college. Delay it as long as you can, guys. Delay it.

5. TBS: C’mon, they’re trying really hard and stuff…

I love to shred TBS for their terrible original programming. So when I heard about their horrendous new lineup (See: The Wedding Band) I nearly shat myself with excitement to write an article ripping them a new one. TBS, if you’re reading this, keep trying fellas. You’ll get there. Hey at least Conan fell in your lap.

4. Overreaction Wednesdays: Bikram Yoga

Over the last 12 months we’ve learned that writing about your own personal experiences usually produces the funniest stuff. Well Sonny Ringz embodied that theory to the fullest when he dropped an OW classic on his Bikram yoga session from hell.

3. OW: Week of the Glory Hole 

On the first of August, the stars aligned in a magically glory hole related way, and yet another premium OW was born. Everybody knows glory holes are hilarious, but who knew that a week during which two separate glory hole references would be unearthed is absolutely hysterical? Not I, that’s for sure. Not I.

2. Mantivities: Gotta Get This Shit Done

Around mid-May I started to get the feeling this blog was getting a little fruity. I’m talking posts about fashion, frequent gay dude references and I think someone compared us to a bowl of gay fruit. Needless to say, I needed to man up in a major way. So following a weekend of chopping timber in the northwoods, the mime dropped a checklist of mantivities to complete by year’s end. Didn’t quite make it.

1. The Ultimate Family

When people look at various legendary athlete’s careers there’s usually a defining moment when they go from a good player to a star. Well here at the mime we look at the ultimate family post as that moment. When we went from a lame, unoriginal blog to a freakin comedy legend, minus the legend part. Followed by The Ultimate School and The Ultimate Company, the ultimate fam laid a swag foundation on which we’ve built this blogosphere masterpiece.

 

Top to bottom, not too shabby a list. It’s been a great year, and hopefully the first of many for the mime. Look for some limited edition mime t-shirts within the next couple months.

 

Happy New Year everybody!

 

– JD


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4 01 2013
The Mime Turns One «

[…] TODM in 2012 a few weeks ago. If you haven’t had a chance to take a peek at it, check it out here. I’d like to think we’ve come a long way since I first wandered onto wordpress that […]

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