TODM Showdown: Washed up boy band dudes

4 12 2012

nick lachey



jc chasez


On the heels of the recent news that former 98 Degrees head honcho, and “die-hard” Bengals fan, Nick Lachey, was escorted out of of Sunday’s Chargers – Bengals game, it seemed like a pretty good time to to a washed up boy band member showdown. And who better to go up against Mr. Lachey than N*Sync’s resident floppy dong, JC Chasez? Some of you might say, but JD he wasn’t the lead singer and Nick Lachey was. Gotta compare apples to apples here holmes. Well that might be true, but I really don’t give a shit, so we’re pitting them head to head anyways. Both have kind of floundered around in the pool of staying a relevant celebrity for quite some time now, so it seems like a legit match up.

Let’s get in to it.

Recent Activity – even though you haven’t contributed anything to society since the early 2000s, making sure you make the headlines once every few months is crucial for any washed up boy band dude.

Nick Lachey, as we mentioned, made internet headlines yesterday when word got out that he was escorted out of an NFL game. What a badass. Apparently he was “talking smack” and might’ve even choked a bitch. Given he’s a Bengals fan, the smack talk seems a little unnecessary. Yo losers! We got a red haired QB!! Our coach went to ummm Idaho State! We might eek our way into the playoffs but I doubt it!! Now if he did indeed get violent, then that changes everything, but either way, Nicky L is clearly working hard to stay relevant. JC Chasez, on the other hand, hasn’t made headlines in a long time. Last I saw he was bitching because he didn’t get invited to Justin Timberlake’s wedding. Not going to stay relevant with boring news like that. Edge: Nick Lachey


Side Pieces – everyone knows the biggest perk of being in a boy band is the premium tail you get. But continuing to roll with babes even after your time in spotlight is over, is what separates the men from the boys…band.

Nick Lachey was famously hitched to Jessica Simpson during her prime. So that’s a huge plus. Then, when he realized she was an idiot psycho nut job, he dropped it like it was hot, and hopped on the Vanessa Minnillo train. Nothin wrong with that one-two punch. JC Chasez has been linked to Tara Reid and Eva Longoria among others, but everything’s seemed to be pretty short term stuff, and let’s be real both of those chicks are notorious hollywood sluts. Wonder if he pounded Lil’ Mama on the set of ABDC? Edge: Nick Lachey


Current Job – Even though you cashed in years ago, you’re probably in your early 40s at most, and in need of employment. Who’s holding down the better gig?

Nick Lachey from the looks of it, sort of has a variety pack of odd jobs on his list. He apparently is a part owner of the ABA team, the Hollywood Fame, a team nobody even knew existed until right now and he was recently on the NBC reality show, Stars Earn Stripes, where as far as I know, he earned zero stripes like a total bitch. Meanwhile, JC Chasez has been holding down a judge position on the show America’s Best Dance Crew for the last four years. Sadly the show was cancelled, but keep in mind JC took frivolous notes during every single dance performance. That, my friends, is dedication. He also is working on forming an all girl music group called, Girl Radical. Can’t wait for them. Edge: JC Chasez


Cooler name – having a sweet name is surprisingly a huge part of staying afloat post-boy band fame. Who’s got the better name?

Nick Lachey’s is a pretty cool name, let’s face it. Kind of rolls off the tongue, actually makes you think he’s latino even though we all know dude is white as rice. Nick is a classic first name, Lachey accompanies it on the back end nicely, just overall a quality name. On the other side of things we’ve got JC Chasez. First off, you’d think with a cool first name like JC the battle would be over. Wrong. Problem is, he’s got a stupid ass last name. Chasez? Chaz-ay? Chaz-sez? Cha-sey? Nobody knows how to pronounce it. Thus it sucks. Plus word is his actual first name is Joshua. So yeah there’s that too. Edge: Nick Lachey


Better solo career – As is the case with pretty much every single boy band member ever, at some point they try and go solo. The question is who faired better in the solo world?

Nick Lachey hit the solo world hard with a couple tracks from the heart after he and J Simps broke things off. ‘What’s Left of Me’ was a straight emo anthem. JC Chasez apparently went solo for a bit in 2002 and even had one of his songs featured on the Drumline soundtrack. Song was called ‘Blowin’ Me Up (With Her Love)’. Nobody remembers it. Edge: Nick Lachey


I think by now it’s fairly obvious that Nick Lachey is absolutely dominating this showdown. Not even a contest. Guy might’ve been kicked out of an Cincinnati Bengals game or two but that won’t stop him. He’s going to keep showing up here and there like the washed up boy band dude he is.

congrats nick


Congrats indeed.

– JD




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: