Let’s talk about ‘Flight’

28 11 2012

By Kleinz 57

Who isn’t sick of movie reviews right now? We’ve already had a whole butt dump of new Thanksgiving weekend releases and the endless spew is only going to get worse for awards season. Cold and annoying might be distant cousins, because they’re related as all hell.

I actually saw Flight, the latest from Denzel Washington and director Robert Zemeckis, a few weeks ago. But I waited and waited and WAITED until I could score an exclusive interview with ‘Zel himself. I finally did, and let me say that the man is as impressive on a keyboard as he was in Glory.

* * *

Kleinz 57: First of all, thanks for agreeing to this.

Denzel Washington: To be honest, I’m still not sure what this is.

K: I’m a reporter for the Associated Press. Sort of. I wanted to talk about your new movie Flight. 

DW: That came out like a month ago, man.

K: Yeah I was working out.

DW: What?

K: Alright, D. Let’s get down to it. Cool if I call you D?

DW: No.

K: What about Mercedes-Denz?

DW: No.

K: Bat Outta ‘Zel? Pennzoil Washington?

DW: Please stop

K: Aight, D-Wash. I wanted to start with Bob Zemeckis, who directed Flight. Were you excited to work together for the first time?

DW: Of course. Bob’s a great creative mind in Hollywood. I’ve wanted to collaborate for some time now.

K: I’m just glad he’s back to using real people in his movies. Even for something with a naked Angelina, Beowulf was some disturbing shit.

DW: Next question.

K: Seriously though, Beowulf is fucking bad. Trust me. Zemeckis actually has caught a ton of flack for his recent forays into the Uncanny Valley. I’d say Flight is a return to form for him. Would you say the same for yourself here?

DW: I guess I don’t follow.

K: Well the “Uncanny Valley” refers to animation realism that resembles something in between actual people and very obvious CGI. Have you ever seen Polar Express? Surprisingly solid. Hanks, man. Hanks.

DW: I know what that is, dammit. Were you implying that my acting career has some kind of Uncanny Valley?

K: I’m implying that your last few roles weren’t very good.

DW: Excuse me?

K: Hey I liked Deja Vu.

DW: That was six years ago…

K: So what are the chances of another Training Day?

DW: Um, did you watch the ending?

K: Nope!

DW: You might want to.

K: KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT!

DW: Right.

K: But if you’d answer my earlier point…

DW: About Training Day?

K: No.

DW: About my movies being bad?

K: Yeah that. Without being mean about it, one might argue Flight is a return to form for you, back to Training Day and Man on Fire and Malcolm X. Roles with BALLS.

DW: I suppose you could argue that, sure.

K: And Flight has a pretty morose story behind it. There’s this idea that your character [a drug-addled commercial airline pilot] has numbed himself to the outside world through a barrage of addictive substances and debauched, meaningless sex.

DW: He’s really become numbed to everything around him, and that’s from his own life choices.

K: Right. And after that plane crash, which was crazy intense, he does something we think should be applauded. But he’s not celebrated for it. He’s actually put on trial.

DW: Literally, at the end there. He goes through the ringer, and a lot of that is his own fault.

K: He doesn’t get off the hook.

DW: Absolutely. The depths that this story goes was a real draw for me on this project — how dark the script was.

K: Not to mention the leading man amirite?

DW: Was that a black joke?

K: You character is on a ton of substances in Flight. Most obvious is the liquor but you also abuse weed and cocaine. And then all the uppers and downers. Box wine, beer, paint thinner, glue, paint thickener, jungle frogs, lighter fluid, sharpies, diapers, puppy diarrhea, freshly printed newspaper, a baby’s bonnet, mayonnaise, Cobb salads. It’s nuts.

DW: What’s your question?

K: Do you have a favorite drug?

DW: I’m not gonna answer that.

K: What’s the most blow you’ve ever picked up?

DW: No.

K: Being Denzel Washington, do you ever get tired of Denzel-ing your way out of your problems in movies?

DW: What do you mean “Denzel-ing?”

K: “Denzel-ing” is the infinitive of “to Denzel,” to improvise a big rousing speech about racism and character, delivering a grand observation on life, politics, football, etc. and somehow exonerating your past mistakes in the process.

DW: I had no idea I guess.

K: Ya know now that I think about it, you kinda “Denzel” your way out of Flight, too.

DW: I think our time’s about up here.

K: JOHN GOODMAN DIDN’T NEED TO BE IN THIS.

DW: I should really get going.

K: DID YOU GET HAYDEN’S NUMBER ON THE SET OF REMEMBER THE TITANS?

DW: Thanks.

K: ZEEEEEEEEEL!!!

* * *

Thanks again to D-Train for his time and patience. The Mime’s officially on the map now. And go check out Flight. The story’s predictable but it’s a Robert Zemeckis movie devoid of talking computer mannequins and you can’t top a character “Denzeling” his way out of a situation. Just can’t.

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2 responses

3 12 2012
Your Abridged Movie Zodiac «

[…] you bothered to peep the Mime’s exclusive chat with Denzel last week, you may have noticed one thing: We’re switching up formats in The Mime at the Movies. Brace […]

27 12 2012
The Mime Year in Review «

[…] 12. Let’s Talk About ‘Flight’  […]

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