All Out Show Suggestions

15 10 2012

For those who don’t have SiriusXM satellite radio and have never got down wit Eminem’s station, Shade45, I’m sorry. There’s one thing you need to know, and that would be that it’s no question the greatest radio station ever created. My advice would be two fold, if you have money, pay for an account. If you’re broke, kidnap someone with an account’s first born (if they’re childless their cat will do), and make the ransom their SiriusXM user name and password. Trust me, It’ll be worth it. You will definitely may get locked up but at least you’ll be the only San Quentin inmate with satellite radio. Shade makes regular radio sound like two weasels getting murdered by Gilbert Gottfried. Whatever that sounds like. Probably terrible.

One of the main reasons for Shade 4-5’s dominance, is the two cats pictured above. Rude Jude and Lord Sear. They host the All Out Show, weekdays from 4-8pm. Recently, access to an online SiriusXM account came into my possession. I won’t say how, just know it involved a series of black market favors. Since then I’ve been bumpin these dudes whenever I can. The show is funny as hell and they play dope tunes.

Well recently, some guy has been photoshopping the shit out of Lord Sear, and it’s led to a coastal beef, among other things. Sear hates the guy, Rude Jude can’t get enough of his photoshop shit. Bottom line is it led to Jude exclaiming on multiple occasions that he needs more fan participation on the show. Well fuck me with a cordless drill. I’m a fan! I can participate! So here goes.

Despite my mad photoshop skillz, I’m too jewish to afford a subscription to Photoshop. Once my 30 day trial ran out my photoshop days have been sidelined. So I figured the next best thing is to shoutout the homies and make some friendly suggestions on a new batch of segments I thought up for the show. Don’t get me wrong, their current segments are straight fire. WWJD, Sear vs Words, Sexy Talk Time, Hate It or Love It are all premium recipes for laughs. But, from what I can tell, they’ve been long running segments and a phresh batch might not be a bad idea. Maybe incorporate a few here and there, test em out and see if they might go the distance. Who knows.

So if you’re somehow still reading, here’s what I came up with:

Sear vs. meat

This one I’m thinking you blindfold Sear, toss a few plates of various meats in front of him and have him call out what he’s tastin. He wins, he gets to crush the rest of the plate, he loses, no pastries for a week.

 

Anal Advice Hour

Since it seems like every other broad who calls in to What Would Jude Do is wondering if she should give up the chocolate hole to her man. So why not make a quick segment dedicated entirely to anal advice? Maybe get some porn star third party thoughts in there every once in a while, help the ladies out on whether or not they should let a dude punch the starfish.

 

Guess that pet

Have chicks who own pets call in and describe themselves. Then guess what type of pet they own. I’m guessing it might go down like “My name’s Stacy, I’m 32 and I am fat as shit. I live by myself and I work at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.” “Ahhh do you own four parrots and a turtle named Tony?” “How’d you fucking know?!” Boom. Success.

 

Old People Read Eminem Lyrics

Simple idea on this one. Find some bored old people on the street outside your studio and have them read Em’s funniest/raunchiest lyrics. The rest, my friends, is what we in the biz call comedic gold.

 

Will the Vegetable Fit?

A little background on this one. A few years back I was at a tailgate in Madison, WI, everyone was wasted and one thing led to another and we started talking to a few hotties. Now there happened to be a few large peppers sitting on a nearby table. The chicks started betting each other that the other couldn’t stick the entire pepper down their throat. Turns out they both could, my boner exploded out of my zipper and we all had a good laugh. The point is, bring in some hos, display a variety of vegetables on a table and bet whether or not they can fit them in. Bonus points for squash.

 

White People Wednesday –  Sear at a vanilla face place

Maybe once a month send Sear out to a place that mainly white people love. Could be the arboretum, Yankee Candle shop, a farmers market, an Adrian Brody movie, violin lessons etc. Have him interview the whiteys, report on his surroundings, maybe spit some bars, get arrested etc.

 

That’s all I got for now.

– JD

 

Oh, one more thing. Last week’s Takeover Tuesday highlighting rock samples was awesome. Do that more often.

 

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