Northern Xposure Week 5: Vikings Postgame

8 10 2012

By Kleinz 57

Nice try, Matt Hasselbeck. You won’t rid me of my innate pessimism that easily. Silly goose! Everyone knows the Tennessee Tight-ones are toilet spawn this season. What’s less clear is how much of Minnesota’s success has been a result of some good fortune (see: 49ers) and a less-than-demanding schedule (see: Lions, Jags) and how much has been a result of young talent. With regard to that “young talent” side of things, ‘dem Colts eeked out a win against the Green Bay Discount Double Checks, so Indy can’t be that bad right? Shots fired! Shots fired!

Blair Walsh continues to drag his gigantic schnutz across the Metrodome green, kicking three more field goals yesterday. The best part of that last sentence? He wasn’t even half of Minnesota’s total offense. Adrian Peterson has averaged over 5 yards/carry over his past two games, and Percy Harvin just… Percy Harvin’d all over Tennessee. Seriously. Look at this muthafuckin’ beast:

You can trumpet Green Bay’s offensive weapons all day. McCarthy would kill to clue in Harvin on that laminated Denny’s menu he brings to the sidelines. In true open-mouth-insert-foot fashion, safety Harrison Smith’s fumble recovery was promptly undone with his best Bill Belichick impression, making some of that no-no contact with a referee. Ponder also threw two INTS, and most importantly, yes, the Vikes have yet to be tested against a competitive division opponent. And they’ll have to wait much longer still, with a ridiculous gap until facing Chicago in Week 12 and then Green Bay in Week 13. Until then though: BIG SAUSAGE PIZZA, NFC North.

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