Northern Xposure Week 4: Vikings Postgame

1 10 2012

By Kleinz 57

I can hear Chris Berman’s dulcet rasp already. The Minnesota FOOTBALL Vikings are 3-1. What is going on in the Twin Cities?! Is there a new title town in… town? Yeah, probably not, and I’d be lying if I said I called this strong of start. Crapping one out against the Colts didn’t help, but last week’s UPSET over San Francisco was the shot in the arm this team has needed for well over a year. And I mean WELL over. Yesterday’s 20-13 victory over Matthew Staff Infection marked the Vikings’ first win against a division rival since September 2010. Go even deeper and this was Minnesota’s first road win since Favre’s 2009 return to Lambeau, but I can’t seem to remember how that season ended.

Adrian Peterson is clearly back and also clearly a cyborg. I’m sure we’ve all heard Troy Aikman slur this over and over again, but nine months later… what torn ACL? No touchdowns, but AP averaged 4.9 yards over 21 carries and was a primary reason the Vikings’ drives were so successful. Harvin’s disgusting 105 yard kickoff return for 6 was a great start to shutting up the Mo Town crowd. As a whole, the Vikings’ passing game was decidedly less impressive — averaging only 3.6 yards per play — but Christian Ponder might have some pocket presence after all, and #PONDERMONIUM continues as potentially more than just a nickname for syphilis.

Now I’ve got all this skeptic optimism and nowhere to put it. Maybe in Calvin Johnson’s hands? Detroit is far from my purview, but Johnson must have been abducted pre-kickoff and lobotomized, as he gained only 54 yards on 5 catches. When Megatron fails to show up, and when the Detroit defense continues to give away first down after first down on penalties alone, yeah, a W might be in the cards. Still, I’ll wait to buy my “2012 Wild Card #2 Champions” crew neck until after a few more divisional matchups.

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