Northern Xposure Week 3: Bears-Rams postgame

24 09 2012

 

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Well folks, looks like I told you so without even having to say it. DaBears, 9 days after being force-fed their own asses by a certain division foe who had previously been ass-served themselves, came home angry and proceeded to get the job done. World keeps on spinnin’. It wasn’t particularly pretty on the offensive side, especially on smokin Jay’s part, but the defense looked impressive as ever with 6 sacks, 9 tackles for loss, 2 INTs and a TD that I’ve basically come to expect versus teams like the rams. The Bears needed this easy one badly before heading south next Monday to face God’s team the Cowbastards, and if you consider the striking similarities between the two underperforming offenses and playmaking D’s it should be an intriguing chess match (though I can’t think of a single one of those that has ever happened). I’ll be sure to have some Jerry Wipes on hand when the shit hits the fan, whether it goes down happy or sad. In reality I’ll probably just pee on all of them regardless and regift them to a co-worker who happens to be a Cowboys fan.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to learn how to record and piece together Russell Wilson highlights from tonight’s game and sync them up with “I’m Coming Home” in a way that doesn’t make it the cliche to end cliches.

-5Piece

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