Northern Xposure Week 3: Vikings

20 09 2012

By Kleinz 57

By now everyone is familiar with the 2012 NFL narrative: these GD scab refs are killing my team’s season. Well, that’s not completely true. At least not for the Vikes. They’re far too busy shooting themselves in the collective dick for any scandalous offensive pass interference calls to matter. Take Jared Allen’s hit on Andrew Luck last week. First, the hit was late. But to really pull the ‘trig on the whole shebang, Jared had to go and feign outrage on live television. And then proceed to not STFU in the postgame conference with whiny gym class banter like “This is football, I thought” or “I didn’t know we weren’t allowed to hit quarterbacks with our arms.” That’s a single highlight among many stupid, unnecessary penalties from a team that needs as many breaks as it can get, especially when said penalties cost you 105 extra yards. Allen’s sloppiness helped the Colts’ drive and put them in field goal position, which when you lose by 3 points…

Forgive and forget, I suppose. Maybe the Vikings will fare better this week against one of the best teams in the league. I’m not that worried about Smith’s passing game, despite Minnesota’s still terrible secondary. Hey, maybe the ‘new and improved and domesticated’ Chris Cook can do something other than trip into Antoine Winfield. The Vikes’ real concern is stopping the run, which I’m told often requires a defense that can make a tackle. Maybe that’ll improve this week?

This is gonna be a rough one. It may even be time to start up the “whiskey Sundays” again. If Ponder and his receivers Harvin can connect on anything, I might not have to pray bullshit receptions like this actually happen. Yeah, celebrate it up, Stephen Burton. You totally planned that.

34 – 13 Niners




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