OW: Sup Wit This Fresh Batch Of Rappers?

19 09 2012

It should be fairly obvious that all six of us mimes consider ourselves dedicated students of the rap game. Just check our sometimes weekly segment – FTK TTV. I We enjoy highlighting legit legit hip hop music. That’s how we roll yo. It should also be known that we don’t hate on many artists. Aside from Nicki Minaj, who, lets be real, can hang glide into a furnace and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Aside from that though, we show mucho love…o.

Well that’s all about to change. I mean it’s an overreaction wednesday for christsake. Gotta lay down the law once a week. Put some bitches in they place. So as I’m cruising home from a lengthy work day listening to my favorite satellite radio station Shade45, I realized quite a few rappers who’ve hopped on the scene in the last couple years to put it lightly, suck ass. Their names, their flow, their beats. Basically all the above. Don’t get me wrong, there are currently a lot of other artists doing great things too. Lupe’s new album drops in a few days, Slaughterhouse is killin it, and Brother Ali just dropped an interesting new record, Kendrick has good kid b.A.A.d city on the way. So don’t take this post as h8 for the industry. Also don’t confuse this with Green Egg’s worst rap names in the game gem-city over at the batcave841. Hell of an article. Hopefully the nephew hops back on the keyboard here at the Mime too. Let’s just say kid’s desk at mime HQ has accumulated a THICK layer of semen dust on it.

Alright, lets get in to it.

Kirko Bangz

His real name is Kirk and I totally didn’t see that coming, but at least then his rap name partially makes sense. Honestly I’m still not sure if it’s a play on Kurt Cobain. He claims it’s not, but sure as hell sounds like it. Musically, aside from ‘Drank In My Cup’, which was smoove, everything else sounds pretty unoriginal. Probably has something to do with him doing that Drake sing-song-rap thing A LOT. Verdict – weak to moderately weak.

French Montana

Right off the bat, let me say Frenchie’s an ugly ass mo fugga. Looks like he just got hit in the sac with a bottle rocket. I’m also receiving word dude’s not even French OR from Montana. So deduct a couple more points there. His hit single, Shot Caller, has a hella unique hook. Wait no it actually sounds like some Lil Troy plagarism to this guy. With Waka covering the yelling-flow and Rick Ross on the hilarious rhymes, I just don’t see much room for French’s Mustard in the game. Verdict – Super weak

Nipsey Hussle

Dudes real name is Ermias Asghedom, so it only makes sense that shitty name picking runs in the family. Nipsey? As in “damn, those are some puffy nipseys”? Bro you spelled hustle wrong too. Nipsey actually has been growing on me lately, mainly because of his chick’s monster caboose in the music vid for Keys To The City. But Nip’s gotta realize Rose is Ricky Rozay’s calling card. Verdict – Lame sauce

Chief Keef

Where to begin with this cat? His hit single, Don’t Like? Yeah, that’s that shit I DEFINITELY don’t like. Then I find out he’s been talking shit about Lupe Fiasco. Sweet dude. Guess you can’t expect much different from a sixteen year old kid. Wait which tribe are you from again? Ojibwe? Chief needs to understand how to show respect to hip hop veterans, especially ones from his hometown. Verdict – douche.

Meek Mill

Meek: overly submissive or compliant; spiritless; tame. Mill: equipment for the grinding or pulverizing of grain and other raw materials using millstones. I guess that makes sense. Millie’s track, ‘Amen‘ is somehow popular as hell. I don’t understand it. Now he is signed with the untouchable Maybach Music empire so that helps his case some, plus he’s clearly motivated and dedicated. Still, I can’t get on board. Verdict – decent to nah he’s pretty bad.


That’s all I’ve got tonight folks. All rappers involved, thanks for being good sports. Now #poof and #disappear.

– JD




One response

10 02 2013
Please tell me Future isn’t the future «

[…] with America’s fresh crop of shit-tastic rappers and their awful music, I dropped a list of my top five worst “new” “rappers”. Well guess what guys, I fugged up. Somehow I forgot to include literally THE worst of them all. I […]

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