Your Superficial Fall 2012 Preview (cont.)

29 08 2012

By Kleinz 57

(Part I)

October 5


If you’re one of those folks curious to see Tim Burton’s followup to the disappointing Dark Shadows — but really, why would you be? — look no further than Frankenweenie. If you’re one of those folks who’d just like an original story from the man since it’s been approximately forever, you’ll have to wait. This thing’s just an extended version of a film he made twenty years ago. Time to hang it up, strange old man.

The Paperboy 

Based on the novel Push by Sapphire. I had to. Lee Daniels’ latest has a lot to live up to in the shadow of his 2009 juggernaut, Mo’nique. I’ll admit I’m not sure what’s going on here, but there’s word of a hysterical Nicole Kidman taking a whizz on Zac Efron so this is probably less Precious and more that one time ninja Cuba Gooding, Jr. banged Helen Mirren.

October 12


Affleck gets a lot of crap for his acting, and rightfully so perhaps. But he was the bomb in phantoms, yo. He’s also directed two solid flicks already, so there’s a good chance Argo, a thriller detailing the escape of American hostages from 70’s Iran, kicks some indiscriminate modicum of ass. Apparently the conspirators make a pretend movie to do it, too; expect this to be pretty meta in its overall meta-ness.

October 19

Alex Cross 

In fairness to a man whose creative output is numbingly fruitful, Tyler Perry has been a behemoth in black American film and television, and it would be unfair to judge a blah thriller like Alex Cross — in which Perry only acts — based solely off the man’s infinite string of Madiarrhea movies.

So let’s judge Alex Cross off the limp noodle grip he’s got on that shotgun instead.

Killing Them Softly 

We at the Off Duty Mime understand there’s a line between artsy fartsy movies and The Expendables 2. Andrew Dominic’s oh-so-delayed followup to The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is both more modern in its setting and easier to say. It also looks to give the audience a little fartsy and a little Expendables. But really, the trailer says more than I ever could, so I’ll let ageless ladykiller Pitt work his magic. Just stay the hell away from my ladyfriend, man.

October 26

Cloud Atlas

And you thought Bruce-on-Bruce action was the most fucked things would get this fall. The Wachowski Brother & Sister team up with Tom Tykwer in adapting what is inarguably the most ambitious project of all time that also involves yellow face. Even if this multi-generational chronicle of one man’s journal through the lives of actors playing multiple characters and races fizzles out to nothing more than a cinematic apology from the condom factory, I’m down with all things Asian Hugo Weaving.

Man, psychotropic mushrooms sales are going to spike these next few months.

November’s preview will be later today. Pinky swear this time.




2 responses

29 08 2012
Your Superficial Fall 2012 Preview (Pt. III) «

[…] (Part II) […]

30 08 2012
Your Superficial Fall Film Preview | Majestic Wolf Blog

[…] I Part II Part […]

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