FTK & Underrated Hottie

29 08 2012

Today we’ve got a double feature for the record books. Considering it’s been a decade since we’ve tossed an underrated hottie your way, we’ll begin by honoring one of the sexiest gals on Twitter with an official UH title. Then we’ll slide across the linoleum hallway in a pair of tube socks to listen to a couple fresh out the oven tracks from THE nastiest supergroup in Hip Hop. Not a bad Wednesday, eh?

So first and foreskinmost, our underrated hottie.

Ashley Sky

A Brazilian/Native American model, she was born in Brazil, raised in America. Really the perfect combination if you think about it. Born in the land of hostage situations, yet raised in the house that Uncle Sam built. Tell you what, originally I thought she was from space mountain. Figured she was a alien babe sent here to rule all mankind with her deceptive tits. Turns out I was wrong. I recently received confirmation that she is indeed human. Anyways if you frequent The Chive, you probably know Ms. Sky very well. Since the late 2011 she’s been popping up all over the place. You might recognize her from Kanye West & Jay-Z’s Otis‘ music video or from  like a million other websites too. I guess I can’t complain though, the internet sure needs more of A. Sky and less of this guy.

Why is she underrated, you ask? Well first off, she only has 28,000 followers on twitter and for a chick that posts a boatload of chub-inducing pics, that seems low. Secondly, as of yesterday my cousin Carl had never heard of her and Carl has heard of every hot chick out there. Carl, if you haven’t guessed already, is addicted to masturbation. But that’s his journey. So those are two pretty good reasons for an underrated ranking.

Congrats to Ashley. Enjoy it now because that underrated ranking will be gone in a flash. Speaking of flash, I pray to god  bet you’ll be flashing those sweet-moses-I-wanna-live-in-there-boobies in the SI swimsuit issue this time next year.




FTK – Slaughterhouse



Alright Mime street soldierz, flip er up into your waistband and follow me into the kitchen where Chef Di Mime-o is sampling a fresh batch of hip hop classics. Cool it on the kitchen references? Alright, dick. Today’s featured artist is no stranger to the FTK segment on the mime, its none other than Shady Records’ finest, Slaughterhouse. I’ve been on the Slaughter-wagon since I saw them rock the aforementioned Soundset in the spring of 2011. The guys flat out spit flames. I guess you have to expect nothing less from a group mentored by Em, but check the Shady 2.0 cypher at the BET awards if you don’t believe me.

Just yesterday, their highly anticipated album, Welcome To: OUR HOUSE was released. Needless to say, I picked up a copy and it should be duly noted that all four guys throw down a rhyming onslaught. See what I did there? Seriously though, it’s hands down one of the most lyrically sound pseudo-mainstream hip hop albums I’ve heard in a while. At points, the beats may be a little ‘out there’ but I think that has more to do with complexity issues and less to do with production value. Slaughterhouse enlists Skylar Grey and Cee-Lo Green to assist with the hooks on a few tracks, and Eminem, which comes as no surprise, is a triple feature. Compared to their self-titled debut album, OUR HOUSE may seem a bit more mainstream, but trust me, that certainly doesn’t mean they’re sacrificing lyricism. While Slaughter may not be for everyone, any hip hop fan has to appreciate the work they’re doing for the game’s musical credibility.

If you can, go see these dudes in concert. Here are a few of my faves from the record:



– JD




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