Avril & Chad: The Start of Something Special?

23 08 2012


Following a heated NFC North debate taking over yesterday’s overreaction wednesday, I felt like we needed to lighten the mood here at TODM headquarters. Everyone seemed a little on edge. Chup man was throwing knives at a Mike McCarthy fathead, Sonny Ringz was afraid to leave the handicap stall, christ even 5Piece showed up to work for once, screaming something about a bear. It was pure chaos y’all. I figured someone needed to unify the team real quick. Since Kenny Powers died in a fiery minivan crash, we settled for the next best thing. The beauty of true love. Exemplified this week by two of America’s rock legends, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger. They shocked the world when they announced their engagement on Tuesday. People laughed, people cried, people shouted for joy and people died. Seriously folks. PEOPLE DIED. I’m pretty sure a couple of Avril’s former sk8r boi tois literally died from shock when they heard the news.

Given I’m a huge fan of both of their music, I was overcome with happiness when I heard the news. That’s not a joke either. Avril helped me through my middle school years when I was just trying to figure out why everyone was so complicated, and I’ve never understood why Nickleback is hated by everyone who has ever lived. Dudes rock HARD. Have you heard Photograph? Every time I do it makes me laugh. Laugh tears of music glory that is. Whatever that’s neither here nor there. The point is, if these two love birds can make it in this crazy world, maybe there’s hope for a barely-above-water comedy blog. If Chavril (that’s what I’m calling them now) can silence the h8rs with the power of love, maybe the mime can silence the h8rs with the power of unprovoked violence. Like punching drifters and what have you. Just some food for thought.

So I’m as whispering sweet nothings to myself here, and I realize, this could be the start of something special! Maybe it’s a new trend of musical power couples! Maybe, juuust mayyyybe, some of my favorite artists will find someone special and finally settle down. Call me a hopeless romantic, I don’t give a shit. A guy can dream can’t he?! No? I’m being told by my mom I can’t dream. It’s a medical condition, OK? I can’t help it, I was born with it. Only dreams I can have are of the wet variety.

Here are some couples I’m hoping to see in the near future:


Daughtry & Hilary Duff


Flo Rida and a Wood chipper




Mary J Blige & R Kelly


Mark McGrath & Chris Jericho



Sisqo & Sinead O’Connor



William Hung & Brooke Hogan


Bon Iver & Katy Perry


Pitbull & A Shotgun


French Montana and an Arby’s Big Montana


Alllright, I think my work here is finished. Have a great Thursday y’all.

PS – Pitbull, I’m kidding buddy. Can we still be frens?


– JD







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