Rate That Food Joint with Gary Breadsticks

8 06 2012

Your favorite OG scout leader, Gary Breadsticks aka Gary Loavesnfishes is back with a fresh ranking. This time G B Stix gets all up in Cousins Subs.

If there’s one thing you should learn about me right off the bat it’s that I don’t like it when people lie to me. Well that and I’m violently allergic to walnuts. Seriously don’t ever give me a brownie with walnuts or I swell up like my Aunt Richard’s vicious case of crotch elephantiasis.  Well guess what? Cousins Subs lied to me with their lame slogan. It is right around 100% false. Other than that though my standards are pretty low so their food was moderately satisfying. Lori Beth Denberg at the register was on a huge power trip though. I hate when they give you an order number and you’re obviously the only one in the restaurant at the time. Then you accidentally throw away your receipt and they yell at you about it. Hey jiggly puff I ordered 57 seconds ago, ease off my meat. Definitely couldn’t have been good on my cholesterol though, pretty sure they ladled a poncho of sauce on my philly cheese. Guess it kinda evened out the bread that tasted like my copy of Top Gun on VHS. Grade: C








One response

15 06 2012
Saving Silverman: A Bard’s Tale «

[…] that boring. The dude remains one of the most skilled and prolific writers of all time, and The Off Duty Mime definitely appreciates quality composition. The man freaking invented over 1,700 words, many that we still use today. Seriously. ’You […]

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