Redefining The Faux Pas

17 04 2012

I rock that middle look to the T twice a week, minimum. Gotta keep up with the trends.

It’s no mystery, especially to the ladies, that JD crushes the fashion scene with ease. For that matter, the entire staff here at TODM crushes the fashion scene. Just barons of high fashion. Couple of John D. Rockefellers up in it. I come in early this past Thursday and Sonion Rings has 12 scarves on. Not even practical anymore. Last I checked though, nobody said lookin good was gonna be comfortable. Just ask this dude. Is that Joaquin Phoenix? We’ll never know for sure.

By now most of you are thinking, ‘hey douche I saw you last weekend at the bar wearing hockey breezers and a Stephon Marbury jersey.’ Yeah, that might’ve happened. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not the fashion icon I painted myself out to be in the previous paragraph. Who’s to say for sure though? Last I checked Vera Wang isn’t a loyal Mime reader. So that’s where I started thinking, who’s the b hole sniffer who defines the fashion faux pas? Gotta assume its some smug chach in South France painting naked dudes and yelling about no white pants after labor day.

Well eff that dude. I’ve had enough of these lame fashion ‘faux pas’, or as we like to call it, fashion Joe Pa (RIP…one love). Time to redefine the terms. Here’s what needs to change:


– It is now cool to rock your Letterman jacket AFTER you graduate high school.


– Wearing animals needs to make a comeback. Shoutout to Blake Anderson.


– White pants should be mandatory during winter. Even better, is there a way to get my hands on a caddy smock from the Masters? Those things look very breathable.


– Tevas and tube socks should be socially acceptable footwear.


– Gotta bring back the top hat trend. T-Pain and Abe Lincoln are laughin all the way to the bank on that look. Well not Abe Lincoln. He’s dead. But he was laughing.


– ‘How To’ t shirts from Target must stay relevant. Along with effectively expressing teen angst, they also are rather informative.


– Vests aren’t just for mountain climbers. This guy knows what I’m talking about.



– Ties no longer have to hang down to your belt (you’re welcome Merril Hoge).


– Every pair of jeans should have a hammer loop. Never know when you’re going to need to build a cabinet.



That’s pretty much all I can think of for now. So I urge all of you, go forth and set your own fashion standards. For if we don’t, soon we’ll all be rocking skinny jeans and Magic: The Gathering long sleeve t shirts. That’s what the kids are wearing these days, right? Shit I have no clue.

– JD




One response

27 12 2012
The Mime Year in Review «

[…] I started to get the feeling this blog was getting a little fruity. I’m talking posts about fashion, frequent gay dude references and I think someone compared us to a bowl of gay fruit. Needless to […]

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