Why Do We Hate LeBron?

16 04 2012

First off, I haven’t hit up the blog-machine in a quick minute, and for that, I apologize. But we all hate LeBron, but why? He’s obviously pretty douchey, but I mean he is very ill at ball. Like, unreal. This is the first point I want to make, is that we hate him because he is really really good. If he sucked, no one would care. We would forget about him, much like we all forgot about the immortal Ndubi Ebi. But since he puts up killer stats, we pay attention, and because he is kind of a large d-bag, we hate him.

Moving on. Another huge reason we hate LeBron is because we have been told he is the next Magic Johnson or MJ since he was in 8th grade. We’ve had over a decade of LeBron talk, and what is there really to show for it? He has put up monster stats since getting to the L, but no championships. It took Magic 1 season to win it all and MJ 6. LeBron is cruising in on his 9th season with no rings. He’s been to 2 finals and got nothing. Last year he should’ve won, and because he didn’t, and because he disappeared we kind of hate him for it.

A big reason we all hate him is because of the Decision. No “greatest player ever” would bitch out and run to another team with a superstar. MJ, Magic and Larry never did that. Plus it wasn’t just the fact that he did that, it was how he did it. Obviously holding a televised event was a terrible choice, but he gave no heads up to anyone at Cleveland. Just a bitch slap and a middle finger to your team. Then of course they did that whole intro dance in Miami where he guaranteed like 7 championships. Yikes.

Why else do we hate him? I think a good reason is because Kevin Durant is so much more likable.  They are the two best players in the L, and the top two candidates for MVP this year. But the fact is the Durantula is just such a better guy to root for. During the lockout he was everywhere, crushing pick up games, dropping 66 on chumps, dunking all over B-Easy and going HAM at the Drew League. Meanwhile, Baby Bron Bron was taking his sweet time jumping off of high dives, ordering his steak to be cut up for him and turning his wardrobe into hipster central. What do you look for in your favorite basketball player? What KD did or what BronBron did?

Some other reasons we hate this guy: His neck beard, he copies D Wade on almost everything, he betrayed Cleveland (but I mean, its Cleveland…so….) and after he lost the finals last year he told us that his life is so much better than ours. Easy there guy.

The weird thing is, he wasn’t always like this. I watched his high school documentary and actually liked him. Back then, it was about winning games and being a stud. Nowadays its about dressing as douchey as possible, wearing two headbands to cover his balding hair and missing clutch shots at the end of games. Who knows when it really started? But doesn’t matter because that’s how he is these days.

An interesting thing to think about is what happens if he wins a championship? I’d say if the Heat won it behind a monster series from Baby BronBron, I think he would morph into a basketball version of A-Rod. Just a super douchey guy who can win some games for you. But if the Heat win behind a D Wade dominated series, with LeBron deferring to him, I think it gets worse for the Chosen One. Just a lose-lose situation for this guy. Too bad, but we hate him right? So who cares?

Plus, Delonte West bangs LeBrons mom. Gross.

Green Eggs N Pink Ham

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