Underrated Hottie of the Week

13 04 2012

Winter Ave Zoli

Bam. Talk about kicking Friday off the right way. Introducing Winter Ave Zoli. Up and coming actress that The Mime refuses to ignore. For some reason the rest of America hasn’t hopped on board yet. It blows my mind, I mean that backside is freakin gift wrapped. Though, I think I can uncover the reasons why.

1. She’s most known for her role as ‘Lyla’ on Sons of Anarchy. If you’re asking yourself ‘what the fuck is Sons of Anarchy?’ maybe go ahead think about stabbing your eyes off. Show is, and has been since 2008, the best thing FX has ever done. I know, I know, FX has the movies! Trust me, Sons of Anarchy makes Hellboy II: The Golden Army look like my 5th grade class musical. And Ron Perlman and his too-close-together-on-his-face eyes would probably say the same thing. Anyways, back to Winter. She plays Opie aka Gary Burtier’s porn star wife. By porn star I mean dirty lookin porn hooker. Automatically makes her less attractive. I’ve got a few friends (POB) who have already written her off just because of her character on Sons. It’s that bad.

2. She might’ve jumped the gun on the full spread in Playboy. Listen. I’m not mad at her for baring it all, I’m just saying she could’ve waited a little longer. The longer you make the American public wait for nude photos the better they ultimately are. Plain n simple.

3. Her name sounds like a right turn on Mapquest directions to my Uncle’s house. Does anyone still use Mapquest? Probably not. Whatever, you get my point. Her name. It sounds like a road. Maybe drop the ‘Ave’.

4. Although she was born in Pennsylvania she grew up in Prague. So by default everyone thinks she’s European. Plus she started by doing a bunch of indie Czech films. Weak sauce, I know.

Well, there ya have it. Pretty simple stuff, really. Simple stuff that needs to change. Mark my words she’s about to be on the MAP. Here’s a couple more photos, enjoy.

 

-JD

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