Swag Surfin

13 03 2012

Phrases they come and go. Saturday through Sunday, Monday through Sunday yo. But one phrase that seems to have staying power is “swag.” Everyone seems to be using it these days, describing their on the court play or even to describe their blogging. Swag is everywhere. But what does it mean? What IS swag? If you wanna know what swag is, take a look at this:

Woooowwwww. Swag for days! If you don’t know by now, Temple Run is one of the greatest games for the iPhone/iPad. Go download it right now. But for all of you who know how tough and challenging this game is, no doubt your jaws are still on the floor. 13 mil like it aint no thang. I used to be in the 99%, beating every challenge except the 10 million point club. I scored 5.6 mil once and thought I was supreme king. But then I found out that if you have one arm and are technically brain dead you can get 5 mil in your sleep. But then, last night, I just hopped up out the bed, turned my swag on, and breezed to 13 mil like it was going out of style. Temple Run swag for days.

Some of the haters have come out and said things like, “get a job,” or “Green Eggs n Pink Ham wasn’t Dr. Suess’s best work.” Whatever. Haters gonna hate, Slaters gonna slate. The thing to remember is that swag is all about proving the haters wrong. It’s not really about accomplishing anything, but more about being arrogant towards your haterz. For example, people were hating on me saying I could found a legit Sunday Hungover Basketball League. Then I organized it and made t shirts right in everyones grillpieces. That right there was some serious entrepreneurial swag.

Now, you might be asking yourself, how can I start swag surfin on my own? Well to be honest if youre asking yourself that, you have absolutely no swag at all. Pathetic. But for the rest of us who carry towels around wherever we go because we drip too much swag, it just comes naturally. It can’t be explained. Swag comes in the form of paying your NFL fines with straight cash, being the best street hockey goalie in the history of Nickelodeon and runnin the entire free world.

At the end of the day, I have so much Temple Run swag its not even funny. Like I’m not even laughing. 13 mil, easy. Get at me son.

– Green Eggs N Pink HAM




One response

21 03 2012
Overreaction Wednesdays: Bikram Yoga «

[…] on being calm, cool, collected cats. We navigate this hostile blogosphere with poise, class, and a pantload of swag. Pumping out tasty chunks of rhetoric like absolute G’s. You know how many times per day I’m […]

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