Overreaction Wednesdays

22 02 2012

Happy overreaction wednesday loyal Mime compadres. For those in Cleveland, no we’re not going to sound off on ya (former) boy, Lebron. Given the picture above, and a recent article I read about how King James likes to order his goddamn steak well-done and pre-cut at restaurants, I’d say baby Bron-Bron is almost too easy to make fun of these days.

However, todays OW has a lot to do with basketball, specifically Olympic Basketball. A day or two ago Nike revealed Team USA’s Basketball uniforms for the 2012 London Olympics. If you haven’t seen the threads, take a peak:

Bah-Bam!

My first impression, was alright, I can fux wit these bad boys. I mean I’m probably not going to rush to the nearest Sports Authority to nab one, but they’re decent. Then I looked a little closer. Why is the freakin S so much bigger than the rest of the letters? Also, the S looks like I wrote it in 3rd grade when Alex Restrepo first showed me that damn trick with the 3 vertical lines…everyone’s gotta remember that shit?

Like did Phil Knight find some scribbles in his grandson’s trapper keeper that weren’t of gigantic veiny dicks and say, “Fuck Jonathen, these drawings are pretty gay. I’m going to use them for our country’s goddamn Olympic basketball jerseys.”

Now you know I’m always one hundred with all the readers, so I’ll admit while crafting these magnificent S’s in grade school I thought I’d developed a time portal to the future. I figured if I could connect a few lines to make a bomb ass letter I could probably cure AIDS or develop way more sour Warheads. Whatever 11 year olds get wet for.

These days things are different. They kind of look like two ass cracks trying to scissor. Like a drawing that instantly reminds me of Jnco Jeans. Funny to reflect on but would I really want to see another person my age rocking them out at the bar? Yes. I definitely would. That person would be a legend. Fuck. Well that argument fell through.

I think my point is this. Nike, stick with the classics bro. I know, everyones trying to be all edgy and trendy and shit. I’ve seen the Oregon Ducks football gear. Shit is sick nasty, I won’t lie. But thats football. This is basketball. In basketball the coolest shit also happens to be the most throwback.

I mean I know Champion probably has these trademarked out the ass but how about something like the 92 Dream Team rocked? Would be flyin off the shelves faster than KY Jelly in San Francisco.

Even the 96 Dream Team unis are way cooler. Its like comparing Mario Kart for N64 with Mario Kart for Nintendo Wii. Sure the Wii version is all 3D and interactive and shit, but I’d rather grab the 64 sticks and pound the original Koopa Troopa Beach in the scrotum. Old over new straight up.

Shit, these days all I see is snapbacks and retro jersey nights, when is the world of professional sports going to wake up, wipe the crust out of their ass eyes and see that throwback logos are just plain better than new edgy ones? Guess its one of those age old questions, like why is this OW still going?

No clue.

Well to wrap things up, Phil Knight tighten your jersey-designing skills up. Clearly you’re not paying all those Indonesian babies 4 strawpennies a month to sew lame gear. Make it worth your while, dog. Make some cooler uniforms. I mean if we’re the most badass basketball country on the planet shouldn’t we look the part? Jam a couple skulls, some AK47s, and a Bald Eagle somewhere on our jerseys, or at least our warm ups. Just make it so if we do somehow lose to Spain or Argentina we at least look like ma-flippin legends in the process.

-JD

 

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4 responses

22 02 2012
Jeff Kinsella

I wanted to be the first person to leave a reply on your fine site. Don’t have anything to say, just wanted to be first, nahmsayin?

-Kinsellamenez

23 02 2012
JD McGriddle

thnx menyez you da man

23 02 2012
Johnny "The Kid" Stinkham

we should throw them Sunday Hungover Basketball League T’s. I got a couple we could send over

23 02 2012
JD McGriddle

i remember those ts were ballerific. that eagle was teaching GW how to throw down

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