Society, man. The fuck are we doing?

3 02 2012

I’m really, genuinely trying to keep some faith in humanity. I hear a news story about an Alabama football fan rubbing his nutbag all over the head of an LSU fan passed out in a McDonalds, and I shrug it off. After all, I’ve been looking for a reason to stop going to McDonalds…and the fear of getting teabagged while I enjoy a ten-piece is about as strong a deterrent as I can think of.

You can’t deny it though, each and every day brings another seemingly unbelievable story. Some wierdo jizzed in his high school cafeteria’s ranch dressing jars? Commonplace in today’s day and age. Christina Aguilera forgets to put a tampon in and bleeds all over everyone at Etta James’ funeral? We’ve all been there.

I always wonder what my Grandpa thinks about this circus act. Great, lively, fun-loving guy who grew up in an incredibly disciplined household. He watches the news all the time, and it baffles me that he doesn’t just spontaneously combust in disbelief. If his dad had ever caught him “eyeballing vodka” or “ghost-riding the whip” or “jizzing in ranch jars” he would have lost his fuckin boot in my Grandpa’s ass.  Another thing about my Gramps; Guy watches Dancing With the Stars and thinks it’s the closest thing to watching two people have sex on TV that you can get. Honestly looks around as he’s watching like he’s getting away with something illegal. Can you imagine if I introduced him to the endless possibilities of the Internet? He’d be launching ropes all over the living room.

To peeeeel the onion back a bit on my weak attempt at making a point, people in our society are engaging in some unspeakable bullshit, and that bullshit is muhfuggin RIPE for blog commentary. We intend to provide that commentary – and more. We also intend to get nasty, filthy, Richard Branson rich from this blog, and from the looks of today’s site views – 5 – we’re well on our way to making Facebook’s IPO look like poker money.

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